to figure out why i am so hesitant to follow the path i have laid out for myself.
the only problem is i already know the answer and it isn't making my search for a new path any easier.
as it is, there are too many things that i don't want to say for fear of what they mean.
ugh, well, off to work, at least there i can try to sort through this with none of the affected people around.
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